I went to the retirement party of a friend who has been passionate about work for the last 40 or so years. As we walked around his house, it seemed that EVERYTHING there was a future “project”, from cleaning out the garage to installing backyard lights to getting a dog. He mentioned he’s been doing a lot of volunteer work already and he hopes to expand that. Plus weekends away with family and friends. Sounds good. I’m sure he’ll get the dog and maybe finish the lights, but we’ll never see the clean garage!

Other people commented on how they are or plan to spend their retirement time. Travel, golf, family, scrapbooks, shopping…and I started wondering about how we spend our time. And what might be a better way than frittering it away as many of us seem to do.

So I made a list of the things I get the most satisfaction doing and a list of the least. (While I’m sort of retired, I’m still trying to make a living as a consultant, so I’m not to the “golf stage” yet.)

Satisfaction… giving tours of Frank Lloyd Wright buildings to the interested public, gardening, lunch with friends, seeing great theater, cleaning out anything (PURGE!, the new Boomer war chant), hugging my dog, classes at the Apple store, Costco surprises, walking with friends

Low satisfaction… going through junk mail (including emails), sitting in meetings, watching most TV (not Project Runway or Mad Men), looking for things, talking to people I don’t find interesting or happy, doing errands, housecleaning.

Thinking about what we get satisfaction from is darn interesting. Why? What’s so cool about throwing things out, yet housecleaning is dull? Or how I can sit in a Mac class but am pained sitting in meetings?

So I took my lists and compared them to my “goal mind map” I have on things I want to accomplish and realized that things I get satisfaction from are directly connected to things I want to achieve. Goal – car in garage. Goal – learn my Mac. I have no goal of a clean house or advancing my career in the corporate world.

One of the workshops we run is “LifeSort”, basically helping you discover what you want to do for the rest of your life. We look at your strengths, passions and concerns and deep dive with interviews and visioning exercises. And I’m always so delighted when our participants leave having a real sense of how they can spend their time to achieve the most satisfaction. It’s gratifying to see them get excited about pursuing something they really care about. One woman is opening a communal art gallery, another diving into spirituality to feed her lifelong curiosity. Another woman has gone back to work, after retirement, and is so much happier. The list goes on.

My challenge to all of us over 50 is to think about what will give us the most satisfaction and then be creative about how to get more of that into our lives. And less of what is not satisfying. Some people find taking classes or starting a degree program is a way to involve themselves in new satisfying topics. Others volunteer or travel or make new friends.

I’d love to hear how you all are finding the best ways to use your time. I hope it’s for something really satisfying.

Tags: Time management

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 24th, 2010 at 3:20 pm and is filed under blog items, prioritizing your life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

What could be a better way to wrap up the summer than an afternoon or evening with a friend LEARNING something? Even better — we have a Sunday workshop and an Evening workshop — so no more excuses! (Though we can’t do anything about construction traffic…. but we’d be happy to pick you up at the Metra or El station)

In my old “world” as a Marketing guru, we identified the REAL New Year’s Day as the 1st day back-to-school in September. And, while most of us aren’t sending anyone off with a lunch box to their first day of class, we still have this “season” ingrained in our mental calendars. We see all the new fall clothes in stores and school supplies on sale. We start thinking about what the new “school year” will offer – even though it may have been years since a “school year” effected us.

So use this deal and this time of the year to do something good for you. Maybe you’ve been wanting to clear out your closet and focus on fall clothes that really capture the best you. Or you’ve been thinking it’s time to put more meaning in your life, but you’re not sure what that looks like. Come to a workshop and bring a friend! We’ll be happy to get you jump-started back into a new routine for the other “New Year’s Day”. Resolutions are encouraged!

We’d love to hear about any interesting routines you have for the end of summer, beginning of the school year! Post your comments here!

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 22nd, 2010 at 3:26 pm and is filed under blog items, workshop. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Last week we had a terrific LifeStyle Workshop and our participants asked if we would remind them of some of the cool new products we passed around. One of the fun things about the workshop is that you get to touch and feel things — and get immediate feedback. Plus everyone brings their own knowledge to the table. So let’s start out with something new that we learned:

Lisa Dodge is the daughter of a dentist – and has great teeth to prove it. But her dad has said to stay away from Teeth Whitening kits as they haven’t been tested for long-term harm to teeth enamel. She shared that Crest 3-D Toothpaste is better – use it 3 times a day and get whiter teeth. Worth a try. I’m still a fan of Crest Professional Effects 3-D White Whitestrips. They’ve improved the stickiness, so they really stay on for the 1/2 hour daily treatments. Thanks for the warning, Lisa!

Face Primers – LOVE these. I’ve used Smashbox for awhile (Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer) but L’Oreal just came out with Studio Secrets Primer (on sale for $9.99 this week at Target) and it’s great. These primers leave a soft, velvety base for your foundation or tinted moisturizer and decrease oil and shine. The best part is they fill in fine lines and imperfections! Yea! Remember as you age, lighten up on foundation and powder — use a tinted moisturizer or mineral-based powder — to stay away from the “cakey” look.

DuWop Revolotion SPF 15. Charla Krupp (of How Not to Look Old) gave me this and it’s pretty amazing. Yes, we can go bare-legged and not look awful. This is a bronzing body moisturizer that has a bit of shimmer to the finish. All natural and not orange! Really easy to apply and quite forgiving so you don’t look streaky! And it doesn’t smell awful like many leg creams. They offer a tanner as well. So far, I’ve only found it online at Sephora. But it’s pretty neat.

Vanishing Edge Panties from Soma (Division of Chico’s) that really don’t ride up. Get them at Chico’s Outlets in Aurora or Kenosha for a fraction of the price.

Speaking of underthings, don’t miss Flexees by Maidenform to control your midriff and tummy. Still comfortable and cool, they offer many different styles of tank tops, camis and more.

Now if only I could give the resource for Julie’s cute topper that everyone loves – and is ultra-flattering to any figure type. Keep your eyes open in the coat department for one of your own.

What are your favorite finds? Share them with a comment!

Tags: cosmetics, resources

This entry was posted on Monday, July 12th, 2010 at 3:54 pm and is filed under blog items, image. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Today, I’m asking you to take a moment and reflect on something in your life that turned out better than you had ever expected the results to be. It may be something like:

- Your son’s wedding (you knew it would be wonderful but never expected to have SO much fun)

- A really great haircut (think of the women on “What Not to Wear” and their looks of delight)

- Reunion time with your high school girlfriends (see photo)

- Your best performance review at work (in the words of Sally Fields at the Oscars — “You like me! You really like me!”)

- Coffee with a new-found friend (relaxing in the commonalities and learning in the differences)

- Dessert (mine is the first bite into fresh, flaky strudel or the complex flavors of tiramisu, heightened with real whipped cream)

All too often we set up expectations in our minds of how something will turn out. We anticipate the situation, the way an event unfolds, how we’ll feel about it afterwards. Maybe we feel obligated to attend. Maybe we’re SO excited that nothing short of “the next coming” can live up to what we have created in our imaginations. Maybe we even feel dread – because of “a bug” we put into our heads about what is going to happen.

Yet, one of life’s great pleasures is being surprised and delighted by reality. I have to admit to a world-class imagination that has served me (and my imaginary friend, Holy Zimmer) well throughout my life. It got me through many hours of Mr. Hanna’s social studies classes in Jr. High. And helped make me successful in a long career in marketing. Yet, led me to a panic attack in college, thinking about going to a fraternity toga party. (I don’t know WHAT I was expecting, but I’m sure I didn’t miss anything!) And felt let-down when no one at work paid attention to the great project I finished on Comfort Foods. There should have AT LEAST been cupcakes!

We can’t necessarily control “what’s to come”, but we can control our expectations. We can keep our imaginations in check and we can shut down those “bugs” that take us to ugly possibilities. In creativity training, we’re taught to “suspend judgment” so that ideas come freely without mental editing. In Eastern religions, we’re taught to live in the moment so that we fully appreciate what we have now. Yet anticipating what’s to come often adds richness and excitement to life. And preparing for these moments often lets us experience them more freely.

So today, let’s think about managing our expectations while enjoying our better-than-expected (b-t-e) moments. Try this:

1) Put aside 15 minutes for you and make a healthy b-t-e treat, like a tea that was b-t-e when you tried it or b-t-e piece of fruit.

2) Write down a b-t-e time in your life when you were truly surprised and delighted.

3) For this  b-t-e time, write down at least 7 ways in which the outcome surpassed your expectations.

4) Go off and create a b-t-e moment for someone else today.

And then share your b-t-e experiences by posting a comment.

By the way, I had a HUGE b-t-e surprise today with a wonderful article about Mirror Image, Julie Judd and me in today’s Chicago Tribune. Huge thanks to very-talented writer, Darcy Lewis, for capturing the essence of what we’re doing with women over 50. We share 8 tips for dressing like yourself – not your daughter or your mom.

Have a better than expected day!
Chris

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 12th, 2010 at 7:58 am and is filed under blog items, identity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

While having lunch with a friend yesterday we talked about motivation to change. She knows she needs to lose weight and knows how good it feels and knows how to do it, having been successful before. But she’s looking for that “thing” that pushes her over the edge to make that behavior change.

Having been in her position for many years (that being the state of DENIAL!), we talked about things that have forced us to change in the past. We found the exercise of listing what’s helped in past changes to be helpful in cueing us into the future. So I’m sharing some of my biggest motivators:

- An African safari gave me an entirely new perspective on how I could lead my life and gave me the courage to quit my job and start my own business. I spent two weeks learning (which I really hadn’t done when I was working 70 hours a week) and seeing what’s important in the big picture. I still worked 70 hours a week, but it was much more satisfying.

- I quit smoking on a bet with a handsome man for dinner. I won but also found out I REALLY won – he was handsome but I was no longer a smoker! Plus he might not always be handsome, but I bet he’ll always be dull!

- Looming big birthdays have always woken me up to lose weight – 35 pounds at 40, 40 pounds at 50, 60+ pounds at 60. Do we see a pattern? I think I need to break it!

- Doctor’s orders have gone unheeded (”next week I’ll start”) but how I feel has driven more diet and exercise changes – sore knees, achy hips, foot problems, etc.

- Health fears. Diabetes – along with great thick hair – runs in our family and I kept putting off the fasting blood test for fear of getting bad news. Then my blood pressure started creeping up. And looming above all was my need to get my own insurance after Cobra stopped.

- Photo opps. Both when I knew pictures were going to be taken (weddings, vacations) or when I saw photos and couldn’t believe I really wore a red dress that made me look like a red whale in the picture. Hm.

- Upcoming vacations have made me think. Can I keep up on the tour? How uncomfortable will I be on the long flight? What clothes can I bring?

- Clothes! Nothing fits and I don’t want to move into the next size again!

This list could almost be the “Cosmo Quiz – Are You Ready to Change?” Score 3 points for each one of these motivators you feel. A score of 9 or more says “Go for it!” But it’s never just one reason that motivates us. And it’s often something we’re completely unaware of in our psyches that is the tipping point.

Funny how once you make a change, you realize all the benefits and wonder why you didn’t do it earlier. We realized this while writing our lists.

So take a few minutes and write your list of “What Made You Change”? What’s worked for you in the past to get you off and running to a better you? And then mine that list for insights into how your life can be better with a little change.

Feel like sharing your change list? Please post what’s worked for you , in the hopes that it wakes up change for others.

Tags: Change

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 10th, 2010 at 9:11 am and is filed under blog items, prioritizing your life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Springtime and it’s wedding and shower season! And if you’ve been in any stores or looked at any magazines lately, dresses are all the rage. Last year, my favorite closet commando suggested I start wearing dresses and skirts more — a HUGE change from jeans and all forms of pants. Her reasons were good:

a) dresses are easier to fit when your body’s top and bottom don’t really match in size

b) dresses can gracefully camouflage bumps and lumps that aren’t supposed to be there

c) dresses are more youthful and show a sense of style (she’s NOT talking about muu-muus or shapeless “over-the-head” comfortable dresses you can wear to the farmer’s market or over a bathing suit!)

So with gusto and a recommitment to being fashionable/not old I took to a favorite department store (Carson’s, one of the Bon-Ton stores) and eyed my choices. Initially I rejected all sleeveless frocks due to the unpleasant reality of my batwing arms, but after trying on cap sleeves, committing to 2 months of tricep exercises, purchase of a cute pashmina and rationalization that by the time the dancing starts at the event I’m buying the dress for, most people will have had enough to drink that they won’t notice me when shedding the wrap. Plus, it’s not about me — it’s about the bride! So I ended up buying the cap sleeve number and a sleeveless party dress – with a little bit of CRINOLINE! (Yes, 8th grade Cinderella Ball was the last time I used that word!)

While I love the two dresses, I hadn’t thought about all the baggage that comes with a dress.

1) The zipper! One of the dresses even had a tag that said “I have a zipper” which should have been a warning. Perhaps the label should have said “I have a zipper so bring along a salesperson” or “I have a zipper so don’t expect to be able to put this on at home if you live alone” or “Warning – I have a zipper and you probably can’t reach back to zip me!”  After much finagling, panting and stretching, I was able to get in and out of these dresses in the fitting room and buy them. Since bringing them home, I do yoga arm stretches about 80 times a day. And have a piece of string ready to assist if the yoga doesn’t work out.

2) Shoes! Both dresses would be darling with strappy sandals. But 60 years of use and abuse has taken their toll. Strappy sandals do little to hide a hammer toe and a toenail soon to leave this body from looooong walks. And where’s the arch support in a strappy sandal? So screw strappy sandals and go for the peeky-toe pump – as long as the right toes are showing!

3) Legs! The bare leg look is cute on young women who don’t have bike accident scars, visible veins and knee and ankle surgery scars. My approach — start self-tanner now, then add foundation over the unsightly scars and still wear pantyhose. I need the control top anyway!

4) Undergarments! Correct fitting bra – check! Control top hose – check! (Instead of Spanx, the other alternative to keeping your bottom in check.) Flexees camisole – check! (Spanx for your midriff.) And that should keep me from jiggling in the wrong places. I just hope all that extra “me” doesn’t move down to my ankles or up to my neck!

5) And the wrap, of course! Pashmina or something with a little ruffle. Maybe lace…just as long as it gives the allusion of upper arms without actually showing them.

So here’s how I’ll say “Yes” to the dress! And say “Bye-Bye” to the carefree days of tossing on a cute shift, sandals and leaving the house! We may have to put more thought into how we wear fashion, but we can still wear it — and be all the wiser!

Tags: Dresses

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010 at 11:14 am and is filed under blog items, style. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Style by Julie Judd, Stylewise

If you’re like most women about this time of year, you’re seeing new fashions at stores and starting to think about what’s put away under the bed and in attics in anticipation for warm weather. But before you think you’re ready to shop, think about how you might shop smarter.

In my work as a stylist (or wardrobe/closet/clothes consultant), I’ve learned most women have no idea what’s in their closets or what they need for the upcoming season. I’ve also learned that I can really help. Here’s how:

Save Time

The most important way to save time is to shop with a list. I call it “shop with a purpose” because you’re going to go into stores knowing what to zero in on… clothes that complete your wardrobe.

When I do a “closet takeover” we identify what pieces would pull your wardrobe together and offer many outfit options. These go on the list. Other things that go on the list are special event needs like a dress for a wedding or party and pieces you identified the PREVIOUS season that you needed.

Shopping with a purpose lets you zoom in and out of stores, trying on clothes you know you need.

Style That Works

Don’t we all want to enhance or camouflage our bodies with clothes so we look our very best? But how do we know what works? There are many good books that give us suggestions. But books don’t give feedback – and I do. From your angle, it’s hard to know what to play up and play down. So I do that for you. Then give honest, realistic recommendations on what to look for to flatter.

I’ll steer you to – and from – the trends that work for you and the rest of your wardrobe. Instead of you buying a lot of unflattering but hip items, I might suggest a few contemporary accessories that update your look less aggressively.

Age Appropriate

Once we’ve discovered what’s right for your body type, we’ll talk about your lifestyle. As we age, our body types change (as if we haven’t noticed!) but we often don’t change what we buy. Jeans are still important, but no longer skinny. V-necks may flatter more than our old favorite turtlenecks. And I’ll be totally honest about styles that make you look dowdy or older!

Store Resources

Armed with your shopping list, I’ll take you to the stores where clothes are pulled and ready for you in the fitting room. Through a network of great salespeople , found through years of trial and error, I usually know where to find the best matches to the items on your list. And I know reliable tailors, as well.

Save Money

Of al the times I’ve been called to a client’s closet, I have never had to recommend a whole new wardrobe. We’ll shop in your closet first to make many outfits that look great on you and work for your lifestyle. We’ll identify a list of the things that can extend your wardrobe – items that really work with what you have – so you needn’t buy a lot. Plus when you have your shopping list, you’re not as tempted to visit sale racks and buy “mistakes” that will seldom be worn.

“What would Julie say?” becomes your mantra before buying. And, consequently you walk away from items that don’t work hard in your wardrobe. Or buy with confidence, knowing your purchase is a smart buy. The investment in stylist service can be one of the best purchases you can make.

It’s my belief that all woman can look their best. It’s my passion to help you achieve your best this spring, while making it so easy you’ll wonder why you waited so long.

I’d love to hear what you’re thinking about wearing for Spring. And, if you want help creating your list or shopping, give me a call at 708-829-8245.

Tags: closet makeover, shopping list, Spring clothes

This entry was posted on Monday, March 15th, 2010 at 10:41 pm and is filed under blog items, image, style. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

You know how we plan our vacations — from getting guidebooks or tourist info, to buying new underwear (or whatever) to lining up a dogsitter and getting new batteries for our cameras? I’m going to do that for SPRING. Instead of just turning a page in my calendar, I’m going to plan and anticipate and make sure I get the most out of my “Spring Experience”.

Here’s my planning to do list…

1) Identify and “book” the most important “sites”. These for me are: a) crossing the finish line at the Avon 2-Day Walk, June 5&6; b) volunteering for the annual Wright Plus (Frank Lloyd Wright) housewalk, May 15; c) attend the U of I Biennial Women’s Conference, May 19&20.

2) List the things I do NOT want to miss: riding my bike on a sunny afternoon; watching flowers pop up in my garden; putting away the shovel and winter coats; morning coffee on the deck; cheap asparagus and good strawberries; putting the top down on my car. I’d no sooner miss appreciating these than I’d miss seeing David on a trip to Florence or ziplining in Costa Rica!

3) “Pack”. Happily I’ve lost a bundle of weight since last spring, so now have to decide what to take on my “trip”. Smart planning will keep me from buying this year’s version of awful pink capri jeans. Because I’m on a budget and have some special activities to “pack for” (wedding, etc.) I’m going to hire Julie (fabulous stylist) to build my packing list with me so I’ll save in the long run.

4) Check in with my “travel mates” about what they want to do. What else do we have lined up like a few Chicago theater performances, some birthday dinners, etc. And who else do I want to see that will make my Spring trip special?

5) Fill in other obligations — like fun-filled workshops, proposal deadlines, walking training, etc.

6) Identify a few “Would be nice to…” activities. This year it’s a garage sale. Every year it’s clean out the garage…

Then with plans and gear ready, I’m off to enjoy everything Spring in Chicago has to offer. And I better do it quickly – before it starts snowing again.

WAIT — Spring as a destination? We can’t change the fact that we have busy lives and obligations and tough weather. But we can change our attitudes about our everyday lives. If we can remember to embrace what we love about spring – when we can – life is a little better. And that’s what your Spring Trip will bring you.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 10th, 2010 at 3:59 pm and is filed under blog items. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

There’s nothing like culture shock to help you reflect on your own people! I’m writing from a cyber cafe in Bangkok where tuk-tuks, giant tour buses, hot pink taxis and motorcycles zip by. But go a street over and traffic may be at a standstill for hours. It’s taken over an hour to get a mile each day, traffic is so bad. Yet, traffic in this gentle, spiritual country has already enlightened me. So I thought I’d share a few thoughts.

1. As bad as traffic gets, no one honks. No one flips the bird. And they don’t have road rage. They accept traffic as something to deal with in this city. Reminds me a bit of “No worry, be happy” in Jamaica, but this is the Buddhist peacefulness on 2 or 4 or more wheels.

2. Why must we be so quick to judge? In our little group of travelers, I’ve heard at different times how rude the Japanese are, how Germans don’t bathe, how people’s feet smell in the temples when we have to take our shoes off… startling all the ugliness that you can find when looking for it. With each comment, I wondered “what are all these other people thinking of us?” if that’s what we notice?

3. Nothing beats an ice cold beer when it’s hot AND humid. And you’re eating spicy foods. One of life’s true pleasures.

4. Like Gideon Bibles, hotels in Thailand have copies of The Teachings of Buddha in every room. What beautiful, simple words of wisdom. I think I’ll “borrow” it.

Tags: blog, travel

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 4th, 2010 at 10:29 am and is filed under blog items. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Mike rips into our beloved government for “discovering” we need jobs, why he loves healthcare, and just how scary 2010 unemployment is becoming. Mike interviews Chris Hauri from mirrorwomen.com about transitions in life and career.

Tags: blog, press

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 at 5:38 pm and is filed under blog items, press. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.