A good friend just sent out a few photos from her daughter’s wedding last month and one photo was magnificent! It was “the family” captured on a beautifully, happy day with the bride beaming, the grandkids darling in yellow and white, a giant yellow matron-of-honor who had a child earlier that week, the gorgeous mother of the bride, etc. It truly was the photo that told the story of the day – and of the life of this family.

Then I got photos from a very fun event I attended — a lot of photos and none of which I need bother saving. I guess these told a story, if you kept them all together and pieced together what people doing (cause we could only see their backs) and no one was really identifiable.

My point? We’re taking and sharing a whole lot of photos these days. And they seem to be taking up a huge chunk of time and data space. In the old days, didn’t you get excited when you picked up your photos at Walgreen’s after waiting a few days to get them back? The really old ones came in little photo albums that made them even more special! You’d pick through the negatives to have reprints made to share with family members or friends and would label the backs with who was in the photo, the event and date it was taken.

Now we just send a link. “Here – go look at a bunch of pictures we took of varying degrees of quality and interest. Save what you want.” As of last October, Flickr had over 4 BILLION photos posted. 4 BILLION! Whoa – that would take one heck of a large attic to store boxes of those! But of those, I wonder how many of them were shareable?

With today’s digital cameras, we’re all so used to cameras and phones documenting everything! Kids grow up watching for YouTube moments, proud parents send weekly updates on how quickly the kids are growing. And, I have to admit, I’ve posted a great dog photo now and then.

We’re also using our cameras to document more — the broken parking meter where we got the ticket, a tag on an item we hope to find online, my friend’s calendar cause it’s easier than emailing — but how good are we at dumping these photos? Or are they just cluttering up our “photo boxes”?

I loved how my friend took the time and selected just a few great photos to share so we could see the joy without the tiresome details. Sort of like hearing 5 minutes of highlights of your sister’s Hawaiian vacation instead of having to watch the 2 carousel, 45 minute slide show. Or having to watch someone else’s family videos.

Voodoo followers and many tribal nations believe cameras will steal your soul when your photo is taken. Are our photos becoming so inexpensive and prevalent that our photos are losing their “souls”? Will this year’s “first day of school pictures” be lost in our cyber albums or can we save the best and preserve them for posterity. Like the old times.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 2nd, 2010 at 3:08 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

I went to the retirement party of a friend who has been passionate about work for the last 40 or so years. As we walked around his house, it seemed that EVERYTHING there was a future “project”, from cleaning out the garage to installing backyard lights to getting a dog. He mentioned he’s been doing a lot of volunteer work already and he hopes to expand that. Plus weekends away with family and friends. Sounds good. I’m sure he’ll get the dog and maybe finish the lights, but we’ll never see the clean garage!

Other people commented on how they are or plan to spend their retirement time. Travel, golf, family, scrapbooks, shopping…and I started wondering about how we spend our time. And what might be a better way than frittering it away as many of us seem to do.

So I made a list of the things I get the most satisfaction doing and a list of the least. (While I’m sort of retired, I’m still trying to make a living as a consultant, so I’m not to the “golf stage” yet.)

Satisfaction… giving tours of Frank Lloyd Wright buildings to the interested public, gardening, lunch with friends, seeing great theater, cleaning out anything (PURGE!, the new Boomer war chant), hugging my dog, classes at the Apple store, Costco surprises, walking with friends

Low satisfaction… going through junk mail (including emails), sitting in meetings, watching most TV (not Project Runway or Mad Men), looking for things, talking to people I don’t find interesting or happy, doing errands, housecleaning.

Thinking about what we get satisfaction from is darn interesting. Why? What’s so cool about throwing things out, yet housecleaning is dull? Or how I can sit in a Mac class but am pained sitting in meetings?

So I took my lists and compared them to my “goal mind map” I have on things I want to accomplish and realized that things I get satisfaction from are directly connected to things I want to achieve. Goal – car in garage. Goal – learn my Mac. I have no goal of a clean house or advancing my career in the corporate world.

One of the workshops we run is “LifeSort”, basically helping you discover what you want to do for the rest of your life. We look at your strengths, passions and concerns and deep dive with interviews and visioning exercises. And I’m always so delighted when our participants leave having a real sense of how they can spend their time to achieve the most satisfaction. It’s gratifying to see them get excited about pursuing something they really care about. One woman is opening a communal art gallery, another diving into spirituality to feed her lifelong curiosity. Another woman has gone back to work, after retirement, and is so much happier. The list goes on.

My challenge to all of us over 50 is to think about what will give us the most satisfaction and then be creative about how to get more of that into our lives. And less of what is not satisfying. Some people find taking classes or starting a degree program is a way to involve themselves in new satisfying topics. Others volunteer or travel or make new friends.

I’d love to hear how you all are finding the best ways to use your time. I hope it’s for something really satisfying.

Tags: Time management

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 24th, 2010 at 3:20 pm and is filed under blog items, prioritizing your life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

What could be a better way to wrap up the summer than an afternoon or evening with a friend LEARNING something? Even better — we have a Sunday workshop and an Evening workshop — so no more excuses! (Though we can’t do anything about construction traffic…. but we’d be happy to pick you up at the Metra or El station)

In my old “world” as a Marketing guru, we identified the REAL New Year’s Day as the 1st day back-to-school in September. And, while most of us aren’t sending anyone off with a lunch box to their first day of class, we still have this “season” ingrained in our mental calendars. We see all the new fall clothes in stores and school supplies on sale. We start thinking about what the new “school year” will offer – even though it may have been years since a “school year” effected us.

So use this deal and this time of the year to do something good for you. Maybe you’ve been wanting to clear out your closet and focus on fall clothes that really capture the best you. Or you’ve been thinking it’s time to put more meaning in your life, but you’re not sure what that looks like. Come to a workshop and bring a friend! We’ll be happy to get you jump-started back into a new routine for the other “New Year’s Day”. Resolutions are encouraged!

We’d love to hear about any interesting routines you have for the end of summer, beginning of the school year! Post your comments here!

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 22nd, 2010 at 3:26 pm and is filed under blog items, workshop. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Last week we had a terrific LifeStyle Workshop and our participants asked if we would remind them of some of the cool new products we passed around. One of the fun things about the workshop is that you get to touch and feel things — and get immediate feedback. Plus everyone brings their own knowledge to the table. So let’s start out with something new that we learned:

Lisa Dodge is the daughter of a dentist – and has great teeth to prove it. But her dad has said to stay away from Teeth Whitening kits as they haven’t been tested for long-term harm to teeth enamel. She shared that Crest 3-D Toothpaste is better – use it 3 times a day and get whiter teeth. Worth a try. I’m still a fan of Crest Professional Effects 3-D White Whitestrips. They’ve improved the stickiness, so they really stay on for the 1/2 hour daily treatments. Thanks for the warning, Lisa!

Face Primers – LOVE these. I’ve used Smashbox for awhile (Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer) but L’Oreal just came out with Studio Secrets Primer (on sale for $9.99 this week at Target) and it’s great. These primers leave a soft, velvety base for your foundation or tinted moisturizer and decrease oil and shine. The best part is they fill in fine lines and imperfections! Yea! Remember as you age, lighten up on foundation and powder — use a tinted moisturizer or mineral-based powder — to stay away from the “cakey” look.

DuWop Revolotion SPF 15. Charla Krupp (of How Not to Look Old) gave me this and it’s pretty amazing. Yes, we can go bare-legged and not look awful. This is a bronzing body moisturizer that has a bit of shimmer to the finish. All natural and not orange! Really easy to apply and quite forgiving so you don’t look streaky! And it doesn’t smell awful like many leg creams. They offer a tanner as well. So far, I’ve only found it online at Sephora. But it’s pretty neat.

Vanishing Edge Panties from Soma (Division of Chico’s) that really don’t ride up. Get them at Chico’s Outlets in Aurora or Kenosha for a fraction of the price.

Speaking of underthings, don’t miss Flexees by Maidenform to control your midriff and tummy. Still comfortable and cool, they offer many different styles of tank tops, camis and more.

Now if only I could give the resource for Julie’s cute topper that everyone loves – and is ultra-flattering to any figure type. Keep your eyes open in the coat department for one of your own.

What are your favorite finds? Share them with a comment!

Tags: cosmetics, resources

This entry was posted on Monday, July 12th, 2010 at 3:54 pm and is filed under blog items, image. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Mirror Image leader, Chris Hauri, and Stylewise image consultant, Julie Judd, were interviewed about style tips for women over 50 in a feature in the Chicago Tribune. Read how to look your best today – without looking like your daughter or mother.

Tags: clothes, image, press, shopping list, style

This entry was posted on Friday, June 11th, 2010 at 10:23 am and is filed under press. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

FYI – walking 39.3 miles in 2 days for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer PLUS camping overnight in horrendous storms is HARD. But not as hard as being diagnosed with breast cancer, I bet. I never would have made the whole distance if it weren’t for my incredibly driven walking partners — and they felt the same way.

I was never raised as a real team player. As most of us that are over 50, girls didn’t play team sports. (I don’t consider being in the same gym class a “team” — though the common embarrassment of having to wear gymsuits did offer some kind of bond….)  Didn’t belong to a sorority, didn’t even have a big family, so I never felt much like a joiner. But what a great team to join.

Every 3 minutes, someone in America is diagnosed with breast cancer. Women and men, young and old. So much of the $7.7M we raised is going toward research for a simple breast cancer test (bye, bye mammograms!), for less expensive treatments, gene research and other breakthroughs being conducted by Chicagoland doctors and hospitals. The rest is going for diagnosis and treatment for uninsured and low income people so they have access to the good care most of us have.

To all of you who honked while we walk – THANK YOU! We loved waving back – and if you noticed our 2-handed wave, that’s “applause” in sign language – and an important gesture to keep our hands and fingers from swelling into little sausages.

To all of you who walked – THANK YOU! I’m proud to be part of this “sorority” of selfless people who lived their commitment.

To all of you who donated or supported the walkers in any way – THANK  YOU! We couldn’t have done it without you.

To all of you brave women and men who have or had cancer – THANK YOU! For keeping hope alive and being the strong inspirations you are.

Many of the walkers write who they’re walking for on signs on their backs. There were many powerful images and statements. But one of our favorites (outside of some hysterical boob jokes) was “I’m walking so the only pink ribbons my daughter will wear are for her hair.” Wahoo!

This entry was posted on Monday, June 7th, 2010 at 4:43 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

If you’re in Chicago this weekend, keep your eyes open for walkers in pink. It’s the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer weekend and several thousand (mostly) women will be on the sidewalks trying to walk 26.2 miles on Saturday and 13.1 on Sunday. Honk, wave and appreciate their fund-raising efforts and participants.

I just came back from registration and was delighted in the enthusiasm of the crew and volunteers signing us in. The “thanks” and adulation for participating is overwhelming. Three years ago I walked – didn’t train as well as I did this year, so only made about 21 miles. But was welcomed with the applause of a hero.

There’s magic in participating in an event of this magnitude! First, you are in this selfless community of other people who are giving a huge amount of time and energy for “good” — not for pay, for recognition, for any reward other than emotional and spiritual $$$ in our “heaven banks”.

Second, we have a very challenging personal goal – to walk 39.3 miles in 2 days. If you’re familiar with the concept of Flow, you know that you can achieve this “buzz” when being challenged in something that you do fairly well. So there’s a lot of Flow going on, until…

Third, it gets pretty boring! I submitted a question on VibrantNation.com requesting ideas on what to think about for the really long time we’ll be walking. Much of the time you’re chatting with other walkers. But at some point around mile 10 you get talked out. And for liability reasons, we can’t wear headphones. So there’s magic in this meditation we move into. That or boredom.

Fourth, we’re walking for a very emotional issue — Breast Cancer. I lost my mom this way in 1982 after a 10 year battle. I’ve had my share of “scares” at mammogram centers over the years, too. So when we’re walking with survivors or people who also lost someone dear, there’s a poignancy you don’t get when walking your dog.

Fifth, the closing ceremonies are HUGE! There’s a sea of pink (walkers), white (survivors) and blue (crew) shirts at Soldier Field when the announcements are made about how much money we raised and what local organizations will be the recipients of the many millions raised.

Sixth – and so important – is the magic of completing something you told yourself you’d do. So many women try to make commitments to themselves, yet commitments to others seem to always come first. The completion of a weekend of walking with total strangers brings closure to the commitment we all made to ourselves. To the walking, the fund-raising, the healthy living and the emotional openness we approached the walk commitment. To our friends who trained with us and made generous contributions. To our families who made their own dinners or breakfasts cause we were out walking.

The Avon Walk takes a lot out of us – but gives even more back. On Monday, in spite of  blisters, sun/wind burn and exhaustion, we’ll be walking a little taller! So show your appreciation if you  see any walkers with loud honking and cheering. They’ll wave back.

(If you want to cheer, get the list of Avon cheering stations here.)

Tags: Avon Walk, breast cancer

This entry was posted on Friday, June 4th, 2010 at 4:45 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Today, I’m asking you to take a moment and reflect on something in your life that turned out better than you had ever expected the results to be. It may be something like:

- Your son’s wedding (you knew it would be wonderful but never expected to have SO much fun)

- A really great haircut (think of the women on “What Not to Wear” and their looks of delight)

- Reunion time with your high school girlfriends (see photo)

- Your best performance review at work (in the words of Sally Fields at the Oscars — “You like me! You really like me!”)

- Coffee with a new-found friend (relaxing in the commonalities and learning in the differences)

- Dessert (mine is the first bite into fresh, flaky strudel or the complex flavors of tiramisu, heightened with real whipped cream)

All too often we set up expectations in our minds of how something will turn out. We anticipate the situation, the way an event unfolds, how we’ll feel about it afterwards. Maybe we feel obligated to attend. Maybe we’re SO excited that nothing short of “the next coming” can live up to what we have created in our imaginations. Maybe we even feel dread – because of “a bug” we put into our heads about what is going to happen.

Yet, one of life’s great pleasures is being surprised and delighted by reality. I have to admit to a world-class imagination that has served me (and my imaginary friend, Holy Zimmer) well throughout my life. It got me through many hours of Mr. Hanna’s social studies classes in Jr. High. And helped make me successful in a long career in marketing. Yet, led me to a panic attack in college, thinking about going to a fraternity toga party. (I don’t know WHAT I was expecting, but I’m sure I didn’t miss anything!) And felt let-down when no one at work paid attention to the great project I finished on Comfort Foods. There should have AT LEAST been cupcakes!

We can’t necessarily control “what’s to come”, but we can control our expectations. We can keep our imaginations in check and we can shut down those “bugs” that take us to ugly possibilities. In creativity training, we’re taught to “suspend judgment” so that ideas come freely without mental editing. In Eastern religions, we’re taught to live in the moment so that we fully appreciate what we have now. Yet anticipating what’s to come often adds richness and excitement to life. And preparing for these moments often lets us experience them more freely.

So today, let’s think about managing our expectations while enjoying our better-than-expected (b-t-e) moments. Try this:

1) Put aside 15 minutes for you and make a healthy b-t-e treat, like a tea that was b-t-e when you tried it or b-t-e piece of fruit.

2) Write down a b-t-e time in your life when you were truly surprised and delighted.

3) For this  b-t-e time, write down at least 7 ways in which the outcome surpassed your expectations.

4) Go off and create a b-t-e moment for someone else today.

And then share your b-t-e experiences by posting a comment.

By the way, I had a HUGE b-t-e surprise today with a wonderful article about Mirror Image, Julie Judd and me in today’s Chicago Tribune. Huge thanks to very-talented writer, Darcy Lewis, for capturing the essence of what we’re doing with women over 50. We share 8 tips for dressing like yourself – not your daughter or your mom.

Have a better than expected day!
Chris

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 12th, 2010 at 7:58 am and is filed under blog items, identity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

I normally think of myself as a pretty put-together friend, ear, leader, sister, cook, reader, shopper, creative thinker, pet mom, inspirer, etc. Yet when the wonderful lilacs fill the air with purple and the lawn mowers begin the drone of summer grasses, I turn into this sniveling, whining, sneezing, dizzy – pathetic – child! Who else has this Jekyll-Hyde transformation?

Sure, I know you’re supposed to stay inside (WHAT? It’s sunny out!) with your windows closed (and miss that wonderful spring breeze?) and not go outside in the a.m. (tell my dog that!). Worse yet, I choose to drive around completely in the elements with my convertible top down – because, dammit, this is Chicago and we only have so long to enjoy this!

So, I take some over-the-counter allergy pills (always too late) and carry a box of tissue with me. And wear my glasses more often than contacts. And try to go about my daily life.

But this morning, with a sore throat, dizzy head and drippy nose, I was transported back to about 3rd grade when my mommy let me stay home from school to sleep and eat sherbet. I am totally  awash in this feeling of being so vulnerable and so cared for that I’m taking the liberty of taking on this whine-y, sicky identity for just a few minutes. Sometimes it’s good to bring back that feeling of being 8 years old again.

Then I’ll take more antihistamines, etc. and grow up and get on with my life as an Allergy Sufferer. But until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts on:

- Really creative allergy solutions

- Wonderful ways you feed your 8-year-old, 3rd grade self

Enjoy spring and support your local pharmaceutical company!
Chris

This entry was posted on Monday, May 3rd, 2010 at 10:30 am and is filed under prioritizing your life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

While having lunch with a friend yesterday we talked about motivation to change. She knows she needs to lose weight and knows how good it feels and knows how to do it, having been successful before. But she’s looking for that “thing” that pushes her over the edge to make that behavior change.

Having been in her position for many years (that being the state of DENIAL!), we talked about things that have forced us to change in the past. We found the exercise of listing what’s helped in past changes to be helpful in cueing us into the future. So I’m sharing some of my biggest motivators:

- An African safari gave me an entirely new perspective on how I could lead my life and gave me the courage to quit my job and start my own business. I spent two weeks learning (which I really hadn’t done when I was working 70 hours a week) and seeing what’s important in the big picture. I still worked 70 hours a week, but it was much more satisfying.

- I quit smoking on a bet with a handsome man for dinner. I won but also found out I REALLY won – he was handsome but I was no longer a smoker! Plus he might not always be handsome, but I bet he’ll always be dull!

- Looming big birthdays have always woken me up to lose weight – 35 pounds at 40, 40 pounds at 50, 60+ pounds at 60. Do we see a pattern? I think I need to break it!

- Doctor’s orders have gone unheeded (”next week I’ll start”) but how I feel has driven more diet and exercise changes – sore knees, achy hips, foot problems, etc.

- Health fears. Diabetes – along with great thick hair – runs in our family and I kept putting off the fasting blood test for fear of getting bad news. Then my blood pressure started creeping up. And looming above all was my need to get my own insurance after Cobra stopped.

- Photo opps. Both when I knew pictures were going to be taken (weddings, vacations) or when I saw photos and couldn’t believe I really wore a red dress that made me look like a red whale in the picture. Hm.

- Upcoming vacations have made me think. Can I keep up on the tour? How uncomfortable will I be on the long flight? What clothes can I bring?

- Clothes! Nothing fits and I don’t want to move into the next size again!

This list could almost be the “Cosmo Quiz – Are You Ready to Change?” Score 3 points for each one of these motivators you feel. A score of 9 or more says “Go for it!” But it’s never just one reason that motivates us. And it’s often something we’re completely unaware of in our psyches that is the tipping point.

Funny how once you make a change, you realize all the benefits and wonder why you didn’t do it earlier. We realized this while writing our lists.

So take a few minutes and write your list of “What Made You Change”? What’s worked for you in the past to get you off and running to a better you? And then mine that list for insights into how your life can be better with a little change.

Feel like sharing your change list? Please post what’s worked for you , in the hopes that it wakes up change for others.

Tags: Change

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 10th, 2010 at 9:11 am and is filed under blog items, prioritizing your life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.